When I did the research for my book, Tough Transitions, I enjoyed learning about all the investigations that are going on to try to determine how people can increase their experience of happiness.

There’s a lot of information to read on this subject, and all of it is fascinating.

One thing that some researchers have suggested is that each of us has an individual “happiness thermostat” and that each person’s thermostat is stuck at that person’s basic setting. What this means is that when both good or bad things happen in an individual’s life, the individual will eventually adapt to both kinds of events and return to the same basic happiness thermostat setting that the person is accustomed to.

But some studies disagree with this assertion. These studies suggest that we can get our personal happiness thermostat unstuck by thinking particular ways and doing specific things. We can increase our experience of happiness by the thoughts we focus on and the actions we take. (more…)

As a transplanted Texan, I keep a special play list of singers from the area of the state where I live: Los Lonely Boys, Mary Gauthier, Lyle Lovett, Eliza Gilkyson, Marsha Ball, The McKay Brothers, and many more. Recently a friend introduced me to Darden Smith, who performs here in Austin from time to time. One of Darden’s songs was on my mind this morning as I sat down to write this March newsletter to share with you. The song is called “Drowning Man,” and this line especially resonates with me today: “As long as there’s hope, it’s like a rope thrown into the hand of a drowning man.” Not only does the sentiment of this particular lyric strike me today, but also the whole idea that we all have statements that stick in our minds in a way that we can pull them out and use them as a life line for ourselves. I have a friend who has a statement that she says every time her life is thrown into chaos by some unwanted surprise…”I’m going to make a plan.” Another person I know who works in high tech has lost a job four times in the past eight years. He says, with each job loss, “I can always go lay block at a construction site,” something he did to put himself through college. A dear friend who has had a health setback this past year with two major operations and numerous other procedures lives by the words, “I know the Holy Spirit is with me.” Another person I know reminds himself and his wife when they have unexpected troubles, “We have to have radical trust.” Many statements that we call clichés became just that because they are used so many times by so many of us to buoy ourselves up: This too shall pass… Sleep on it and you’ll feel better tomorrow… Love conquers all… I am not alone… One step at a time… Life is not a bed of roses… (more…)

A letter I received a week or so ago announcing a wellness seminar to be held in our community contained a quote that really got my attention.

Anything or anyone that does not bring you
alive is too small for you.
–David Whyte

(The author of this quote is a poet whose poetry and writing are wonderful. If you have a chance, catch up on his recent work.)

This quote really made me think. Of course, as with all single statements of this sort, we have to put it in context. We all know that there are a lot of things we have to do in life that checking to see if these activities make us feel alive would be silly. I think of taking the dishes out of the dishwasher or rolling the heavy garbage cans out to the road or a dozen other similar things I do in life that don’t have anything to do with whether or not they are too small for me or whether or not they make me feel alive! (more…)