Elizabeth Harper Neeld: Your Questions

Frequently Asked Questions

Here is a place that Elizabeth will answer the most frequently asked questions that you send in by email (Email Elizabeth) or raise when you attend an event where she is speaking.

Q: I’m interested in how you write. Do you have a set time that you write every day? How do you come up with creative ideas?

A: When I’m working on a writing project, I act as if I have a job at a bank. I “go to work” at a certain time and “stay at work” until a certain time. I put this time in my calendar and I write in my calendar what I intend to accomplish in this time period. Then I go to the computer and work.

I don’t wait until I feel creative; if I did, I doubt that I would ever write. Flannery O’Connor, the novelist, who wrote on the top of the dresser in her bedroom on the family farm in Georgia, always said that from nine until twelve everyday she was in there sitting at that dresser. That way, if a good idea came by, she’d be there to catch it. I work that way, too. I find something to do on my writing project and get to work. Then while I’m working, I’ll have new ideas, see connections, get inspired—or not, as the case may be on that day. I’ve learned over the years of writing 18 books that the consistency of “going to work” and keeping momentum going on the project by doing something connected to it in the writing time I’ve set aside are key to getting a writing project done.

I also make sure I’m doing other things, too, when I have a writing project. I take an afternoon off and go to a museum or a junk store or a nature trail. I read other books, all kinds of books, not books related to the subject I’m working on. I cook. Right now I’m hard at work on a new book for Warner that will be out in 2005 and when I finish my writing time for today I’m going to go to the kitchen and make a new recipe I found for a meatball soup.

Q: When will the new edition of Seven Choices be out, and how is it different from the previous editions?

Warner Books in New York will be publishing a Reprint Edition of Seven Choices August 1, 2003. You should be able to find it in your local bookstore and on line by that date. (The new edition is already on Amazon.com; but you have to look for it! Try clicking other editions under picture of Seven Choices (current edition) and you ought to be able to see cover and description of the new edition.)

Q: How is it different?

The Directory is completely updated. You’ll find websites that exist to give information about loss and grief, to connect people who are grieving, and to provide resources and suggestions. An up-to-date of selections of books on the subject is also there. As are new sections on gardening, pets, photography, poetry, writing, and the list goes on!

And one of the things I most excited about in the Directory is a whole new section on music that comforts during our active grieving process. Ann Rachlin, a dear friend from London, has given an extensive list of music that fits each phase of the grieving process: music for when we are Stumbling in the Dark, music for when we are Turning into the Wind; music for when we are Picking up the Pieces, etc.
Also, throughout the book I’ve responded to questions readers have asked me by making the narrative clearer in this place or that. I’ve also revised the last chapter to more closely parallel the person I am now and more closely describe the ongoing nature of one’s Integration after loss.

These are just a few of the changes. You’ll find everything you loved in the old editions; and what is added or clarified I hope you’ll be able to say makes the book a “new and improved” edition.

Q: Every time I re-read Seven Choices I wish the book contained pictures. If you were to add pictures in the book, what are some shots you would include?

A: Here are a few of the pictures I think readers would enjoy seeing. Let me know what other ones you would like to see.

First, here is a picture of Greg and me at our wedding at John Oliver’s Cabin in Cade’s Cove, Tennessee.

Here is a picture of the Tennessee cabin in the snow.

In the opening chapter of Seven Choices, I write about sitting on Mother’s and Daddy’s screened-in porch shelling butterbeans. Well, here are Daddy and I in the garden where he grew the butterbeans, as well as corn, tomatoes, okra, squash, watermelons, and who knows what else!

Q: Am I writing another book?

A: My latest book, Tough Transitions, published by Warner Books in New York came out in paperback September 2006. I am now taking a breather from doing a book-length project. However, I continue to write, doing the newsletter for this website as well as other shorter projects. For more than a decade I have kept a Commonplace Book in which I gather quotes, bits of conversation, etc., that are important to me. I also write in this book on a regular basis, not just as a personal journal but as a repository of explorations of subjects and events and experiences that I find meaningful. Writing is probably the main way that I deliberately and consciously think. I highly recommend the practice!

Q: Did you ever remarry after your husband died?

A: Yes, after being a widow for a few years I met and married my wonderful husband, Jerele. For the past couple of years I have been able to travel some with him when he went on business trips to different countries. Here is a picture of us in Egypt, one of the side trips we took while he was in Europe on business.